Thinking about my Sons Moving Across the Country

I rarely write about my boys on here… mostly because my boys are teens/young adults (ages 24, 22 and 19) and wouldn’t appreciate it. Also, because I’m up for the Worst Mother of The Year Award (again!). It’s not hard for me to earn that award, it comes naturally to me because mothering doesn’t. But this week I might be dubbed a mommy blogger because the older two are moving 3,000 miles away and that deserves a post or two. (both have lived away from home at college for a time, but this is different)

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At age 22, Jerry and I were probably too young when we became parents to Joshua. But if there was a perfect baby to become a mother to, it was Joshua. Other than the fact that he was born in the posterior position (face-up) and gave me intense back pain during labor (don’t worry, that’s all the childbirth stories you’ll hear from me) he was a great baby who slept well and rarely cried.

He was a curious toddler, who talked early and provided endless hours of entertainment for us as he attempted to repeat everything we said and do everything we did. He read early and by second grade was writing excellent stories. As he grew up, he became more reserved, especially around others, often standing on the sidelines watching the action. He not only wanted to know what he was doing before jumping in, but he wanted to do it right.

Joshua’s curiosity causes him to question any status quo he bumps into and we all know where he gets that from, but he’s an introvert and I’m an extrovert, so we’ve had our differences. Being born face-up, which is opposite of the norm, might have been a sign of things to come, because Joshua looks at the world differently than most. At one time that bugged me, but now it intrigues me and I look forward to seeing how he turns that into an assest in his life.

Joshua studied communications in college and moved home last year after finishing. He’s been working with Jerry (remodeling houses) as he looked for a job in his field. He hasn’t found anything around here and he’s always dreamed of writing for film or TV, so he’s moving to Los Angeles with a friend to pursue that dream.
(Anyone have any connections in that world?)

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When Joshua was not quite two, he became a big brother to Joseph. Joseph was the perfect baby to be second in the family. He also slept great and rarely cried (lest you think none of my babies cried, I can’t write that line about my third son) If I was busy with something, Joseph would suck his thumb and coo until I took care of him. He didn’t talk early, but his blond curls and charming smile usually got him everything he wanted anyhow.

As a toddler he followed Joshua everywhere and mimicked him for a time before branching out with his own personality. He had to explore, climb, jump and satisfy his need for speed. It didn’t matter if he did it right, the experience was the party. And speaking of a party, the more friends he could hang out with, the happier he was.

Joseph loved to figure out how things work and find ways to make them better. He started designing, inventing and making things at age 8 or so when he used fabric from an old pair of pants he cut apart to hand-sew little pockets to hang on his belt to carry his treasures. His desire to create along with his need for speed and adventure developed into an interest to make machines that go higher, farther and faster.

Joseph is now a mechanical engineering student at Penn State with only one semester of classes left. He lived at home for the summer because he had a summer internship with Boeing in Philadelphia.  He’s taking his last classes during the spring semester, so he found a work co-op from September to December at NAVSEA in Seattle.

At Boeing he was working on a machine that flew high—the Chinook helicopter. At NAVSEA he will be working on a machine that goes in the opposite direction—a submarine. I love the diversity in experience he will get this year. Hopefully that will help him land his dream job after graduating in May of being an engineer with one of the companies that does space travel, like SpaceX.  (Connections, anyone?)

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So since they are both headed to the West Coast this fall, they decided to turn the travel into a road trip together and they leave tomorrow morning. Joshua and his friend, with as many supplies as fit, will be in his Jeep.  Joseph, his supplies for four months, and a friend (who will fly home after the road trip) will be in his car.

I’ve raised them to follow their dreams, aim high, see the world and explore options. Now it’s happening and I’m hit with a mix of emotions, which I’m trying to write about for a coherent post for tomorrow or the next day or whenever…

I’ve already made chocolate chips cookies, mashed potatoes and other favorite dishes of theirs and after a run this morning (which I so need!) I plan to make more. What is it with us mothers that we want to feed them well before they leave?

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  • http://www.facebook.com/irene.ringler Irene Ringler

    Where do the years go?Was it not Joseph who was the ringbearer in Jon and Jolenes wedding? Doesn’t seem THAT long ago!

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Irene, Yes that was Joseph. He loved that day so much and especially the dog, Charlie he got for being in the wedding.

  • bbubblyb bbubblyb

    What a lovely story about your sons :) I feel all emotional for you just reading it. Good luck to your boys and their road trip. I’m sure they will appreciate any goodies you send with them *smile*.

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Thanks Dawn,
      They all enjoyed some cookies yesterday, then I froze the rest of them for their road trip.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lisa.saunders.9634 Lisa Saunders

    That is a wonderful article Janet. I have no doubt they will do well…they had you for a mom!!! You have taught them well..if anything they certainly know how to fight for what they want and to never give up. This must be a very bittersweet time for you. I cannot imagine my boys leaving home..I have a ways to go yet…but no matter how old they are….they are still your babies. Congratulations to all of them for such wonderful accomplishments. You and your Jerry must be very proud.

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Thanks Lisa!

  • Deb Martin

    Wonderful! Simply wonderful. Although, tomorrow morning you will be in a different state of mind….not so wonderful. Best wishes to your boys, they have grown into such great guys. I remember all three from grade school. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that my brothers youngest son lives in LA. He works at Eastwest recording studio. Let me know if your son would like to connect with him.
    I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow morning.
    Great job MOM & DAD!
    Deb

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Thanks Deb!
      And cool… Josh is interested in connecting with your brother’s son… I’ll message you

  • nancy riker

    So exciting to hear what they are doing! I really am excited for them…..and you both!!! You’ve taught them well!!! Blessings to you and them!

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Thanks Nancy! I’m excited for them also… and a little jealous too!

  • amflem@aol.com

    Hey Janet, nice blog on the boys. Sweet tribute to them and a nice way to share their story just a wee bit. A wee bit is ok, you won’t become a mommy blogger with just that! I think I told you my son Malachi is in LA, and he would be a great connection for Josh if he is interested in TV production. Mal loves to write too, and when he gets the opportunity he does a little with some shows. Let me know I will give you his number and give Mal a heads up.

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Thank you!
      I know Josh would like to get in touch… please email or message me Mal’s contact info. Thank you!

  • http://www.facebook.com/LisaPilates Lisa Johnson

    That’s so great Janet, I think one of the best ways to judge a great parent is there ability to give their children wings … ((hugs)) :-)

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Thank you Lisa! You just made my day much easier. I appreciate it. Thanks again!

  • Cindy Lightner

    Well written Janet! I miss them for you!

  • Joseph Oberholtzer

    Thanks Mom! Worst Mother of the Year Award? I don’t know who would invent such terrible award but if someone nominated you, that’s bogus.

    Travel Update: 40 hours of driving in 2 days finds us visiting friends in AZ. To a non-native it seems like every plant and animal in AZ wants to kill you. They do however have road runners! I have yet to find one and see if it says meep meep. We drove and hiked around route 88 yesterday which is a partially dirt mountain highway. We also visited Frank Lloyd Wright’s Taliesin West.

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Thanks Joseph! I appreciate it.

      Stay away from the things that want to kill you and I hope you find a road runner before you leave AZ… and maybe if you are on your longboard you can catch him.

    • http://www.squidoo.com/cheap-ways-to-move-across-the-country David Johnson

      Haha I just found this article on Google and cracked up about the “every plant and animal in AZ wants to kill you” part. It’s so true! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve hit a cactus here on accident just walking down a sidewalk or in someones yard. That’s great that you got to see some of FLW’s work here…there’s a lot of it.

  • http://twitter.com/pinkypie Renee aka Pinky

    it sounds like you have great boys :) As someone who moved literally thousands of miles away to follow my dreams and knowing how MY mom feels about it (supportive, emotional, torn), I can only imagine that it’s not easy for you but what a great mom you are to teach them to go for it. We can only truly become the people we are meant to be when our parents are able to let us go and find ourselves. xx