The Overused Cliches Series by Christian Piatt

Christian Piatt describes himself as an author, speaker, antagonist and God nerd. What Piatt doesn’t know yet is that he’ll have to add Janet’s hero to that list. I discovered Piatt this week when I read his four-part series about often-used Christian cliches. I, along with many others, think Piatt hit a homerun with the series. It has been shares thousands of times around the web and received hundreds of comments, most of them positive.

The cliches he wrote about aren’t just annoying phrases that irritate him because they are used too often, but these are cliches loaded with meaning and sadly often used in ways that bring pain, not love or comfort to others.

'Choose Kind' photo (c) 2012, Denise Krebs - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/ I have to admit that at one time or another in the past, I’ve said some of these cliches. But after the accident while going through the physical trauma and depression, many of the cliches Piatt writes about are ones that at best bothered me and at worst sent me deeper into depression.

Allowing myself to go through a spiritual renewal is what saved my sanity and changed my thoughts about many of these cliches. Actually I’ve written about one of them,  Everything Happens for a Reason – Really?

Piatt’s first three posts have cliches and the fouth post has antidotes to cliches. I love that Piatt provides antidotes, because most people have good intentions when saying the cliches. No one intents to cause pain, but often people don’t know what else to say.

I’ve picked one point from each post to share here, then please click on the links to read the rest. Do it, seriously! Because if we all learn how these common cliches can hurt others, the world will be a kinder place.
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  1. 10 Cliches Christians Should Avoid
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     Everything happens for a reason. I’ve heard this said more times than I care to. I’m not sure where it came from either, but it’s definitely not in the Bible. The closest thing I can come up with is “To everything, there is a season,” but that’s not exactly the same. The fact is that faith, by definition, is not reasonable. If it could be empirically verified with facts or by using the scientific method, it wouldn’t be faith. It would be a theory. Also, consider how such a pithy phrase sounds to someone who was raped. Do you really mean to tell them there’s a reason that happened? Better to be quiet, listen and, if appropriate, mourn alongside them. But don’t dismiss grief or tragedy with such a meaningless phrase. - Piatt
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  2. Ten More Cliches Christians Should Avoid
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     The Lord never gives someone more than they can handle. What about people with mental illness? What about people in war-torn countries who are tortured to death? What about the millions of Jews murdered in the Holocaust? And this also implies that, if really horrible things are happening to you, God “gave” it to you. Is this a test? Am I being punished? Is God just arbitrarily cruel? Just don’t say it. – Piatt
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  3. Nine (Final) Christian Cliches to Avoid
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    When God closes a door, He opens a window. Like some other cliches, this implies that, when something unexpected (and usually bad) happens to you, God did it to you. I know it’s well-meaning, but it’s not helpful in some cases. What about someone who feels like the door has closed on them, and there is no other hope in sight? That person may benefit more from a compassionate ear, a loving heart and a simple “what can I do to help” much more than some phrase that may or may not have any basis in reality. – Piatt
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  4. Ten Antidotes to Christian Cliches
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    Stop trying to fix everything. Christians hate loose ends. We want to end every conversation with everyone smiling and assured that everything will be just fine. But that’s not always reality, and sometimes, what people need is to grieve, wrestle or reflect rather than feel better and move on. Being a Christian is not about having all the answers at the ready, despite what some evangelism training will tell you. People may even ask for answers, but what we’re all looking for, at a deeper level than our search for those answers, is peace. Sometimes that takes time. – Piatt

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Some of you will loudly cheer about what Piatt says about each cliche (or about most), while others of you view some of these cliches as truth and you find Piatt’s dismissal of them a sin.

I don’t think reading this series means anyone has to change their beliefs, but if Christianity is all about good news and love, yet the first thing that too many think of when asked to describe a Christian is hypocritical or judgmental, maybe being more aware of what we say could help.

Whatever your views, leave your thoughts in the comments below… discussion helps us grow.

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  • Lisala88

    Thank you for posting Janet. I can’t tell you how
    many times I’ve heard these cliché’s over the past year. This is my cross to bare…or my bridge to cross… I know people mean
    well, but like you every time I hear them it makes me cringe. I truly believe
    we are in charge of our own destinies. We make choices as individual’s and as a
    society. Those choices are going to bring change. They may be good or bad.
    Clearly there are circumstances that cannot be explained or controlled and that
    is part of life’s mysteries that we may never know the answers to. I do not
    believe everything happens for a reason and nor do I believe that a God (a father)
    would give me a brain tumor or allow any other man woman or child to suffer
    needlessly. There are those who emerge from tragedy stronger and wiser than
    they were before and that is admirable, but there are also those who simply do
    not have the means or will to do so. I have been struggling for almost a year
    now with one problem after another and so far every door and window has been
    bolted shut. Eventually I will escape, but it will be because I made it happen.

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Lisa!
      Everything you’ve been through, especially this last year, sucks. 
      And while you might not feel stronger yet, I’m thinking that you are wiser, because you already learned how most of these cliches do not bring peace. 
      While I wish I wouldn’t have pain, limitations and a deformed leg to live with, I’m thankful for all I’ve learned through the process and my friend, you are learning also. 
      And yes, you are right… eventually things will be different, keep doing what you can… because you can!

  • Janis

    As an atheist, it always sounded to me like most of the cliches that Christians use aren’t bad because they’re cliches, but because they seem to want to redirect the spotlight onto themselves all the time.  Like they’re hogging the mike.  I remember a clip in a TV sitcom one time where a character — who was supposed to be amusingly self-centered — listened and nodded while someone else was talking about something that had gotten them down, and then spoke up with, “Okay, now back to me … “  A lot of these cliches are tossed out like an ambulance-chasing attorney going up to someone at a moment of pain or weakness and handing them a business card, “Sorry for what happened to you, but while you’re mourning, give me a call.”  It’s just crass.

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Janis, 
      Thank you for your thoughts! And thanks for the visual… I learn best when given an image to explain something and wow, does that give an image of someone I don’t want to be, so thanks again!

      • Janis

        It also makes the person saying them sound like .. well, a predator.  “Hah, I caught this one at a weak moment, I can reel them!”  Whoa, wait a minute …  Like they’re going after the weak ones in the herd rather than offering comfort to people in pain.  I had things like that said to me when my dad died, and it made me feel like they were zeroing in on a target or something.  Like what happened to me was an opportunity for them to score a point for their side.  :-(

  • http://teamaidan.wordpress.com/ Heather Bowie

    Oh gosh these were spot on. It’s really all about relationship. I remember when my friend received difficult news about her pregnant and these cliches were thrown at her from every angle. I wrote her a card and just said, “this sucks and I’m with you.” I said it because I had a time I needed to hear it and didn’t. 
    Thanks for sharing.

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Love what you wrote on your friend’s card… because it’s real and honest, and not trying to fix something impossible to fix with a few words. 

  • Christian Piatt

    THanks for this Janet…though I’d argue you should aim much higher for heros :-)