Ever Have Doubts about Miracles and Prayers?

Every Tuesday and Thursday, I’m posting excerpts from Because I Can.
This is from Chapter 15: Miracles, Prayers, and Renewal

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Somewhere along the way with all my reading, journaling and processing, I came to somewhat of a resolution about why I think accidents happen and I doubt if they include a divine being. I began leaning towards believing what Jerry had thought from the beginning.

Accidents are exactly what their name says they are — accidents.

In my situation, multiple drivers made a mistake or two and it resulted in an accident. I don’t think anyone or any being caused it to happen. I went from believing the popular saying that implies a divine being causes everything to happen for a reason to believing that…

Everything happens and a reason (good or bad) may or may not come out of it.

The majority of what did or did not come out of my experience was up to me. The choice was mine. I could stay on the couch instead of going to physical therapy. I could stay selfish and demand others serve me. I could stay bitter or depressed. I could become an alcoholic. I could commit suicide.

Or I could focus on the positive and become stronger. I could find hope in the beauty around me. I could look for love and share love. I could be thankful for many things … my husband, boys, others and that my body healed as well as it did. I could help others going through a trauma.

I still wondered about answered prayers. Prayers were often sited as the reason I survived and my leg was saved. But yet prayers for continued healing were not answered. I know I can be an all-or-nothing kind of person and most things in life don’t seem to work that way. But yet, it seemed that prayer ought to have some rhythm or reason to it.

I took an honest look at prayers, testimonies, reports and statistics. Without a doubt, the practice of prayer can give people peace … whether they are Christians or practice another religion.

But here’s the twist: studies also show that most of the time when people pray for specific life-changing things—healings or winning the lottery—they do not happen. And prayers for everyday things—new jobs, good weather or good parking spots—are answered about fifty percent of the time. Which is the normal ratio for things like that to happen.

Previously if I prayed for good weather for a picnic and it happened, I thanked God (and inwardly felt all warm and fuzzy). Now I realized the statistics were in my favor for good weather to happen in June in Southeast Pennsylvania, which is why I planned my picnics then. (Duh!)

If I really believe prayer affected the weather, shouldn’t I plan an outdoor wedding in January in Alaska and pray for a balmy day?

I wasn’t denying prayer and its connection to a divine being, but I was looking at it more realistically than I had before. I couldn’t help but consider my own circumstances and at times, my thoughts about prayer concerned me. Was I becoming cynical? Dr. Hinika gave God credit for my life being saved. Every doctor I’d seen was amazed how well my left leg and foot had recovered. One or two even called it a miracle.

Did miracles happen? Was I the recipient of miracles and now I was questioning if they happen? Or did I recover naturally? Great doctors, skills and technology can do a lot … and with the right circumstances our bodies can heal.

My sister, Rosene Hoover

Yes, I had traumatic injuries, but research shows many people have survived immense trauma. Some are Christians, some are Muslim, Buddhist or Atheist. So if the God of the Bible produced miracles in my life, who produced the miracles in people who don’t believe in that God or in any god?

Then there was Rosene’s situation to consider. Some of my questions about God through-out my life had been fed by her circumstances. No one should have to live with the limitations she did—Cerebral Palsy and impaired vision (almost legally blind). In spite of all that, she was kind, considerate and loved God. She had amazing faith and she often prayed to be healed.
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But was she healed?

 

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Rosene, my younger sister,  was as bright mentally as you and me, but due to a lack of muscle control over her whole body, she had severe physical disabilities. Because she’s a big part of my life, I also share some of her story in Because I Can. Actually the title of my book comes from what I’ve learned from her.

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are… because you can!

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Other excerpts from Because I Can:
The Prologue
Chapter 1: The Accident
Chapter 2: 50% Chance of Death
Chapter 3: Waking Up
Chapter 4: Paranoid and Anxious
Chapter 5: Questions 
Chapter 6: Flying Home
Chapter 7: Back on my Feet
Chapter 8: Walk On
Chapter 9: California Again
Chapter 10: A Hurricane and My Obituary
Chapter 11: Mentors and Counselors
Chapter 12: Educating this Mennonite Girl from Small Town America
Chapter 13: Quitting God 
Chapter 14: Surgery Again
 
Chapter 16: Embracing Life Again
Chapter 17: Running Again
Epilogue: One Step at a Time… Because I Can!

 

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  • http://www.acrazykindoffaith.blogspot.com/ Chris P-M

    Janet, I love how you stated “everything happens….and a reason (good or bad) may or may not come out of it.  I always hated when folks would say “everything happens for a reason” or “God doesn’t give us more than we can handle.”   Even when folks say that to this day, I shudder because I think, for example, of all of the 9-11 families and the extent of their undeserved grief.   I don’t know how I’d handle losing my husband or a child, or becoming a quadriplegic or whatever (after my graft surgery I had a 3-day epidural and was a complete basket case!   I said to my docs, “now I have total empathy for what it is like to be a paraplegic.  That would be SO hard!” (I even need anti-anxiety meds cuz I felt trapped-like)  Yet, folks do learn to deal…..   Everything is relative, isn’t it?
     
    When I was about to go into the hospital for the third time and was scared, I requested prayers and “good energy” from folks…even on facebook.   My thinking was that I would take all of the positive energy I could get, because I was feeling so drained of it.   Also, I think that I needed the emotional support, and was amazingly surprised at the outpouring of love and support through the whole experience.   (My husband kept folks updated and folks continued to let me know they were praying…..that meant a LOT to me!)    I’m a big believer in the Serenity prayer too. 

    Your sister sounds like an amazing woman!  

    • http://www.JanetOberholtzer.com Janet Oberholtzer

      Chris.. you are a kindred spirit in so many ways! I love hearing from you. Hope you are finding moments of beauty and strength during your recovery. 

      I also shudder at what you shudder at… when I hear sayings like that, I can’t help but think of how that makes people feel who have been raped, lost a child or something like that. 

      Thanks for your thoughts on prayer and/or good energy. As I said in this excerpt, prayer does bring peace to many and I can believe that it brought you peace when you were headed into the hospital.

      Prayer has also brought me peace… sometimes I wonder why. Is it because God gives me peace or is it that when I pray, it feels like I’ve handed my burden to someone else, so therefore that gives me peace? And when others pray, do I feel peace then because I know that others are caring about me… or does something ‘supernatural’ happen? Just some thoughts that run through my brain…