Why am I Bothered by the Duggars?
This is a first for me … blogging about the Duggars, but the announcement that they are expecting their 20th child bothers me, really bothers me. Beyond what it should.
I strongly believe that everyone has a right to do what they want with their life, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone else. I read news stories everyday of people doing things that I think are odd or unusual, but I usually assume it’s their life, so they can do whatever they want to.
But this announcement from the Duggars bothers me. I only have basic cable, so I’ve never seen their show. I know very little about them, which means I shouldn’t really care what they do with their lives, but for some reason this bothers me.
I’m trying to figure out why their announcement on Today bothers me..
Do I want a TV show like they have?
Do I wish I was married to a man named Jim Bob?
Am I envious because reports say they make at least $50,000 per show.
Is it a numbers thing: Am I jealous because they have 20 children and I have 3?
And they got to use 17 more J-names than I did.
No, I don’t think it’s any of those reasons. I think one of the reasons is that when it comes to women, it seems like they and others in the Quiverfull movement give more credit to a woman’s womb than to her brain.
They believe that if a woman has a working womb, she should use it. They say it’s God’s will. Yet I’ve never heard them say the same about a woman’s brain. If God gave the womb for babies, didn’t he give the brain for thinking?
While I was never in a pronounced quiverfull movement, I know many that lean strongly towards the mindset of allowing God to plan the size of one’s family and at times, I felt guilty that I used my brain to plan a family that I felt was best for my husband and me.
The Duggar’s last baby (#19) was born early with severe medical issues, did they take time to seriously think about all the complications that could happen for Michelle and/or the baby?
Another reason is that the Duggars say since they got pregnant again God must want them to have their 20th child. If they believe everything is a sign or message from God, then why do they not see the medical issues of the last child as a sign to stop having babies?
Vyckie, a former Quiverfull woman who now has a blog called No Longer Qivering: (There Is No ‘You’ In Quivering) explains the problem with that mindset better than I can..
As a Quiverfull believer, whenever anything that could be considered good or positive happened in my life ~ I took it as proof that I was doing right and therefore, God was blessing me.
Conversely, whenever anything occurred which wasn’t so great ~ trials, tragedies, hardships ~ these I considered as evidence that I was doing right and therefore, Satan was upset and he was determined to make me regret having chosen the Quiverfull path.
Either way ~ I *knew* beyond a shadow of a doubt that my Quiverfull ideals were God’s will for me…
So what if God wanted to tell the Duggars to stop?
What could He do to get His message across?
Many people lean towards that mindset, not only with family planning, but also other things in life. I used to try to force myself to believe that any and everything was a sign from God, but now I can’t do the mental gymnastics needed to believe that anymore, but how can the Duggars and others say they believe one thing is a sign, but another thing is not?
Some of the other reasons I’m bothered by their announcement are written about in a post at Mom-In-A-Million. Here’s a few excerpts from it:.
So, in my opinion, the values of the Duggars are not good. They repress women and girls…
And I’m pretty sure that girls get truly substandard educations because they are being trained to be submissive wives, not independent thinkers …
In that post, I Don’t Admire the Duggars, she also goes on to explain why she feels the Duggars are using their children to pay their bills.
Because I believe everyone has the right to choose how to live their own life, I still don’t know quite why this announcement bothers me on the level that it does.
What’s your take on The Duggars?