Because I Can & I Think I Can, I Think I Can

The other day while running with friends, one mentioned that she wished she had the positive because I can attitude that I always seem to have. They all seemed surprised when I said that I didn’t always have it and that for a long time my mantra was I think I can, I think I can…

And somedays it was I sure as hell hope I can.

And even now, though Because I can is more pronounced in my life, sometimes I can still be heard muttering, I think I can, I think I can …

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As a child, I enjoyed and believed the story about The little Engine that Could.

I think I can, I think I can, I think I have a plan
And I can do ‘most anything if I only think I can.

When some of the realities of life began hitting me as an adult, I realized positive thinking can’t solve everything. But instead of finding a comfortable balance, my pendulum swung the other direction. Reality combined with some confusing spiritual teachings about the lack of control I have over the outcome of my life had me viewing positive thinking as a bad thing.

Fast forward a few years … nothing like being run over by a truck to make me reconsider what I can or can’t do. When the outcome of my physical recovery was uncertain, I found that little girl with the positive attitude again. I began telling myself…

I think I can, I think I can, I think I have a plan
And I can do ‘most anything if I only think I can.

I walked again and my body recovered better than expected. But living with a new normal sucked me down into a dark ugly hole of depression and had me saying …

I can’t go on, I can’t go on, I’m weary as can be
I can’t go on, I can’t go on, this job life is not for me.

A combination of love, care and counseling gave me strength to climb the mountain to hope. I dropped some of the baggage I’d been carrying and stopped listening to negative predictions. I dared to dream of what I might be able to do. I went back to this mantra…

I think I can, I think I can, I think I have a plan
And I can do ‘most anything if I only think I can.

Another reality of life hit when my sister Rosene passed away due to complications of Cerebral Palsy and surgery. No amount of positive thinking could change the situation, but I knew Rosene did what she could, with what she had, where she was … so why would I do anything less? I began following my dreams of running and writing because Rosene can’t… but I can.

Just think you can, just think you can, just have that understood
And very soon you’ll start to say, I always knew I could.

I believe that … not like I did as a child, but with a balance. I’ve lived with the hopelessness of not believing any of it and I’ve lived with the unrealistic hope of believing that positive thinking can make anything happen.

So it’s comforting and peaceful to be in this place of believing I can… while accepting the reality of life’s cruelties and mysteries that I can’t change.

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So dear friends … as you take steps toward your dreams, don’t look at me, or others, that have accomplished something that you want to do and assume that we always felt we could or that we never have doubts.

Know that I started by saying I think I can, I think I can and at times I still have more doubts than confidence, but I keep trying… because I can! 

Through plans, hard work, false starts and many repeats, I can pursue my dreams … and so can you. And someday you will be saying …

I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could
I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could, I knew I could. 

Because you can!

 

Hear the song and read all the lyrics of The Little Engine that Could