Doing things so I can tell others I did — Why?

About a year after I was injured, I was at a lighthouse with some friends and I was debating whether or not I could climb the 200+ steps to the top. I wanted to do it. But I wasn’t sure if my legs and pelvis were strong enough. I didn’t want to exhaust or hurt myself and ruin the rest of our weekend at the beach.

Some encouraged me to try it, others thought it might be too much for me. I was trying to think through how I feel when I do one or two flights of stairs, so I could make a wise decision about whether or not my body was ready for that workout.

Someone encouraged me to do it by saying, “Go for it, then you can tell others you did it.”

That would have been almost the last reason on earth for me to climb those steps. I wanted to do it for the experience of doing it. To feel the strength (hopefully) in my legs with each step. To reach the top. To see the view and feel the ocean air. To climb back down. To have a tired, but accomplished feeling.

Doing it simply so I could tell others … why? As much as I love people, is the opinion of others or the impression I give to others more important than my own experience? Never! That means I’d be living my life based on the opinions of others and that seems totally exhausting. Sure if I did it, I would tell others about it, but that wouldn’t be my reason for doing it.

I hear runners discussing whether or not they want to run a full marathon (26.2 miles). Some say they do, so they can say they did it. I have a feeling those people would have a bad marathon experience, because they aren’t doing it for the experience, they are doing it to impress others.

There is nothing like doing something for the sheer experience of doing it. To feel the moment. To experience the experience. 

This makes me wonder about the bucket lists some people have. Are the items on their lists things they really want to do or simply things they want to tell others they did?

One problem with doing things to impress others is that you aren’t living in the present moment, so you won’t enjoy the experience to the fullest. You are living in the future … in that future moment when you will be telling someone what you did. That alone will take away some of the joy of the experience.

It’s not only physical challenges that should be experienced for yourself, rather than for the impressions you want to give … it’s places you go. Books you read. Vacations. Cars. Houses.

I’m not saying you never do things for the sake of others. Maybe it’s something they’ve dreamed of doing and they want someone to do it with them. Go for it … even if it’s not an experience you feel the need to have. You will make someone else’s day and that’s a great experience to have.

As for that lighthouse climb … I did it that day. Slowly and carefully, but I did it. And I loved every moment of it. The journey to the top, being at the top and the climb down. I’m happy to tell you about it … but sorry, you weren’t the reason I did it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you do things so you can say you did them? Or do you do them for the experience of doing them?