Making Choices so You Can Appreciate Life

Appreciate the little things in life.

Stop and smell the roses.

I want a less-stressed life.

I wish life would slow down.

 I often hear others say things like that. Some have a measure of guilt because they know it’s their choice, but they aren’t doing it. Others blame circumstances, people, society or ‘this age’ for making their lives busy. (who signed you up for all the things you are signed up for?)

Why is there a disconnect between what we want and what we do?

Life happens … spouse, work, children, family, illness, celebrations, accidents and so much more. How can we savor the moments in the middle of the good, bad and ugly?

Over a few years time I lived a range of experiences.

My husband and I started a business … and for a decade we didn’t have enough time or money. Then we sold everything — property, business, house — and bought a motorhome. We spent months with enough time and money in an unhurried trip across the country.

Six month later, three thousand miles from home, we were involved in an accident where I was severely injured. The first intense year of surgery, therapy and recovery was followed by four more years of occasional surgeries, therapy and the deep unknown hole of depression that made me wish I had died.

During each of those experiences, I eventually came to a place where I could smell the roses, even though at times, there was a mountain of thorns in my life.

The choice to savor life was mine … and mine alone.

I realized I had a choice as I was stressing myself as a business owner of a seasonal garden center. Sure there was plenty that had to be done … but to tame my schedule, I decided to only do the essentials. (who said our bedrooms have to cleaned every week?) To let go of the things that I was only doing because I thought I should or I thought others thought I should.

The next step was as simple as pausing … yes, pausing.

I paused and watched my son master a new move on his bike. I paused and listened to the customer tell me about the meaning of the garden she planted in memory of her spouse. I paused and smelled the roses (literally) instead of impatiently watering them. I paused and actually listened to the latest idea my husband had.

Then an opportunity to sell our business and property came. We embraced the moment, sold everything and decided to seriously pause and take time to enjoy life.

A motorhome, school books, a road atlas (pre-GPS days) and we were off.

Endless days, weeks and months stretched in front of me. I loved it … but sometimes I almost allowed guilt to ruin those good days, like ants at a picnic, guilt snuck in from time to time. We shouldn’t be doing this. We should be doing something more worthwhile, more spiritual … more productive.

But I knew we made the right call, so I made a choice not to throw it away.

I paused and savored the moments. I enjoyed every run by myself and each bike ride with the family. I savored the campfires and the slow rainy days. I soaked up the unique opportunity we had and encouraged the boys to do the same.

Then my world stopped.

I’m in a hospital bed. I can’t move. I can hardly open my eyes. Words like accident, trucks and injuries run together in my head.

I took what I’d been practicing and I paused.

Physically I was already paused, but I had a choice what I do with my mind and my emotions. I paused. No need to panic. Getting hysterical wasn’t going to help me.

Deep breaths. I was breathing … okay I’m alive. I was feeling … okay that wasn’t great, because the pain was intense, but I found if I was intentional about taking deep breaths, I could tolerate the pain better.

I didn’t know what my future held. I didn’t know if I would ever walk again. But stressing myself about it would only hurt, not help me. I had a choice.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. - Lou Holtz

I took what little energy I had while in the hospital and made a choice to be the best darn patient they ever had. Not so I would get accolades or high-fives, but because I knew in the end it would not only make the nurses’ day better, but it would keep my spirits up also.

Most of my normal choices were gone … but I still had some choices.

Depression is a dark, ugly place … and over the next few years when all my body, mind and spirit issues convened, I found myself there. At the bottom. Not wanting to live.

First I tried to ‘fix myself’ by doing, by being busy, by not giving myself time to think, to pause … but that didn’t work. It only added stress to my life. There are roses to smell everywhere … but I needed help getting past the thorns. Counselors aren’t magical, but they are trained to help lost souls find their way again.

My counselor helped me acknowledge the good, the bad and the ugly … and to take deep breathes again. I realized somewhere along the way I had quit choosing and pausing. I looked around for things to appreciate. Life contained more thorns than I wanted it to, but I found roses to smell.

And I again realized, it’s my choice and mine alone to …

Make life slow down,

so I ….

Have a less-stressed life,

so I have time to …

Stop and smell the roses,

which helps me …

Appreciate the little things in life.