I’m not a dog person. Cat people, no need to rejoice, I’m not a cat person either … truth be told I’m really not any kind of animal person, especially if the animal wants to touch me. I like to view them from afar … like horses in a meadow or squirrels scampering through the woods.

So when I saw Jennifer Luitwieler’s new book, Run With Me: An Accidental Runner and the Power of Poo, with a picture of Jennifer and her dog on the cover, I wasn’t sure if it was a book I would relate to. 

But the running aspect of the book made me want to read it and it turned out to be a great book. Yes, she talks about “The Dog” and his poo (I was impressed how many different ways she found to describe the smelly dung) especially at the beginning of the book, but the book is about more than running, the dog and his poo.

It’s about a woman finding out who she is and what she is capable of if she is willing to try new things.

I learned about Jennifer’s somewhat hippy start to life and then her years spent as a pastor’s kid in a more stuffy environment. About her move years ago as a young bride from Pennsylvania to Oklahoma and how she planned to only be there a short stint, but has lived there ever since.

After having three kids, a dog entered her life. The Dog (she always refers to him as The Dog … you don’t name things you aren’t close to) needed to go outside every morning, so that he’d quit using her sewing room for his bathroom. As we all know the care of most house pets falls on the wife/mother, so she began taking the dog out.

Walking The Dog was too slow, so she began running. With time running with the dog was too slow, so after short runs with him … she left him behind and began running longer distances, eventually working up to a half-marathon. (with dreams of running a full, as you’ll see in the interview below) 

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Janet: I’m curious about The Dog … does he have any idea how much book material his ‘movements’ have given you? And how are you compensating him for that?

Jennifer: You know from reading the book that The Dog and I are not friends. I am firmly in the “dogs are not people camp”. He lives in my house and continues to be fed. Any attention or affection he get comes from other members of the household. I feel no guilt about this. I have softened toward him of late, but I don’t like him. Baby steps.

Janet: I love this mentality of yours  … “Finishing the race would not be by an act of God … it would be the result of my training.” (page 121) Many people live with the opposite mentality that if something is supposed to happen, it will … so they don’t commit to making changes, instead they seem to think that it will magically happen somehow. Did you always recognize that doing hard things takes commitment on your part or is that something you learned through running?

Jennifer: That’s a tough question to answer, because as a Christian, of course I believe that God made me and called me to certain things. I am also of the belief that it’s not as much what we do but how we do it that makes a difference to God. We spend so much time talking about what his will is for our life sometimes that we fail to actually go out and love people.

One of my favorite scriptures is from James, where he writes that faith without works is dead. I can’t sit in my house and hope to be athletic. I have to actually go out and do something. It’s the same with depression. I can’t stay in bed and hope to be healed. I have to move, put one foot in front of the other and live my life, even amidst the depression. I think I have always recognized that things worth doing are usually challenging.

My father says I was born fighting. What’s shifted are the things I’m fighting about/for. I used to fight just to fight. Picking debates or arguments just for kicks. Now I choose my words and my debates carefully. And of course, this relates internally as well. I don’t need to beat myself up about my motherhood, but if I want to improve my running time or stride, then I need to up the ante.

Janet: You write about your awareness of how you would encourage your friend when she quit in the middle of a planned run, but when you yourself quit something … you beat yourself up with negative talk. If someone finds themselves doing the same … what are the first steps they can talk to stop being so hard on themselves?

Jennifer: I see this nearly everyday, as a mom, wife and friend. We are so quick to hold on to the crap, so hard on ourselves. This is very very tough to counteract, because it’s an ingrained habit. The first step is to recognize how we are talking to ourselves. When trying to track finances, people who know things encourage us to keep a daily record of how we spend our money. At the end of the day, we realize we’re spending eleventy-hundred dollars on chai tea lattes. I think it’s the same with the negative self-talk. If you keep track of how you talk to yourself for a day, you might be shocked at the abuse you heap on yourself. After that it’s realizing that those negative statements are false, and replacing them with true ones. Sounds simple … but it’s painfully difficult.
Janet: Now that your book is out … is there anything else you wish you would have said in it?

Jennifer: Not really. I mean, I always learn something when I run, whether it’s about running or writing, or something about engaging with my family … I could relate anything to running. And I think it’s a beautiful metaphor for the Christian life. I have it on good authority that the apostle Paul would have agreed with that ;)

Janet: Are you working on any new projects, books or otherwise, now?

Jennifer: Right now, I’m working on promoting the book, encouraging new runners, and taking on the challenge of homeschooling our kids. This is our first year and our kids are 13, 11 and 7. As one who was used to having the house to herself for writing, this has been an adjustment. Every day, I am doing a little bit of research on my next project, which will be a novel set in Tulsa, OK during the early 1900s.

Oh, and I’ve got the Tulsa Run-15K (9.3 miles) in October, the Route 66 Half-marathon (13.1 miles) in November and I’m considering turning my Pittsburgh half-marathon into a full marathon. If I can do it, anyone can!

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Jennifer is a wife, mama and writer in Tulsa, OK. She covers crafts and sports for local and online publications and enjoys running both alone and with her merry gang of running hoodlums. She loves to talk, cook, sew and smacktalk football teams that are not the Pittsburgh Steelers. She can be found on Facebook and Twitter.

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For some laughs and some motivation to be your best … pick up a copy of Run With Me … at Civitas Press or Amazon

Title: Speaking at Crossroads Career Program
Location: Hopewell Church – Elverson, PA
Link out: Click here
Description: I will be sharing about attitude and altitude at their Crossroads Career session.
Start Time: 07:00
Date: 2011-10-07

Location: Sunny Crest Home – Valley View Road – Morgantown

Date: Friday, October 28, 2011

Start Time: 7:00

Description: We sold our house before we went on our trip around the country, so when I flew home from California after being injured, I stayed in an apartment at Sunny Crest Home for three months.

They are now graciously hosting an evening for BECAUSE I CAN … for their residents, plus it’s open to the public. I will be sharing some stories about my time living there and reading short segments from my book.

Copies of BECAUSE I CAN will be available to purchase and have signed. A portion of the sales will go towards Sunny Crest’s Life Enrichment Fund. 

Facebook: BECAUSE I CAN page.

Location: The Wise Owl Bookstore – Penn Avenue – West Reading, PA

Date: Novemeber 3, 2011
Time: 6:30 to 8:00

Description: from The Wise Owl Bookstore: Mohnton resident Janet Oberholtzer will be joining us November 3rd, FIRST THURSDAY here on the Avenue, to read excerpts from and sign copies of her memoir “Because I Can”. A Q&A will follow the event.

This author event is Free to All.

We hope you will attend to hear Janet’s inspirational story!

More info: Facebook event page here

Facebook: BECAUSE I CAN page here. 

Title: Cafe 110 and I will host a Book Release Party for BECAUSE I CAN.
Location: Cafe 110 – Main Street – Morgantown, PA
When: October 22, 2011 Drop in: 7:00 to 9:00

Description: 
Stop in, chat, copies of BECAUSE I CAN will be available to purchase and have signed.

Enjoy Tasty Treats … compliments of Cafe 110

I will share briefly at 7:30 and 8:30.

Six weeks after being injured in California, I flew back to Morgantown. Friends organized a homecoming parade for me … a video of this parade will be looping all evening.

Also see some memorabilia associated with BECAUSE I CAN.

Feel free to invite others.

More Info: Facebook event page here.

Facebook: BECAUSE I CAN page here. 

I’ll never forget the day I opened an email and saw this word in capital letters …

NORMAL

My mentor had used it in a sentence, “What you are experiencing is NORMAL.”

It was about a year or two post-accident and my email to her contained a rant about my surprise and disappointment concerning the emotional roller coaster I was on. One moment I was thankful that I was alive … the next I was cursing my life. Then guilt would be added to the mix because I felt like I wasn’t dealing with my trauma/crisis well … and we’ve all been told how a crisis brings out the true character of a person. (not sure about that thought)

Along with not enjoying the roller coaster, I wondered if I was losing my sanity and would end up back in the hospital, this time for emotional issues instead of physical ones.

“What you are experiencing is NORMAL.”

Those words helped me take a deep breath. Others have been here. Someone else has been on this ride. I’m all about being my own unique self in most of life, but there was something about knowing I wasn’t alone in my crisis-coping skills (or lack thereof) that brought me comfort.

She went on to give me coping skills …

Give yourself time. Be still. Just as your physical body needed time and proper care to recover, your emotions also need both. Admit your losses. Allow yourself to grieve for what you lost. Go for professional counseling.

So if you have experienced any losses … obviously the lost of a loved one,  but also any physical loss due to injury or disease, a job loss, a failed relationship or other losses … know that the emotional roller coaster that follows is NORMAL.

Admitting it is normal doesn’t mean that you use it as an excuse to not do the best you can with what you have, but it does mean you are aware and recognize the ride you are on. Emotional roller coasters take energy, so along with the coping skills mentioned above, make sure you get your rest and eat well.

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Does knowing you are not alone with an experience bring you comfort? And any other coping suggestions for when we find ourselves on an emotional roller coaster? 

With the release of Because I Can, the publicity continues. (if you are sick of me, ignore this post) Last week I had a photo shoot with Jere Gish and a photograph from WGAL (Channel 8).

 That piece ran on WGAL a few times yesterday. Thanks to the great recap Jere Gish did of my story and to the viewers of WGAL, my blog had the highest traffic ever yesterday.

WGAL Newsclip

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Then yesterday an acquaintance (thanks Krista!) contacted WFMZ (Channel 69) about doing a piece on my story. Apparently it was a slow news day, because reporter Dwayne Parker and photographer Brett Miller came out to an evening run I had planned.

That piece aired on the 10:30 and 11:00 news yesterday.

WRMZ Newsclip

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There were a few friends at both of these photo shoots who took these pictures and ran with me for some of the running shots, so Debra Brown, Robin O’Brien, Rose Petri and Kim Weber are also on the TV clips.  The next time (if there is a next time) I do a photo shoot, I’m going to make sure to get a group shot of the others with me. (Thanks gals!)

If interested, this link has information about my book Because I Can.

“This weekend is my magical moment. I can’t imagine any other ending than making it to the other shore.”

- Diana Nyad 

Diana is swimming from Cuba to Florida this weekend in her third attempt to be the first person to do so without a shark cage. See her progress here.

American endurance swimmer Diana Nyad swims in Cuban waters, offshore Havana, Cuba. Franklin Reyes/AP

If you want something exciting to happen in your life … believe in yourself and dream big! But don’t stop there, process, plan, ask for help, prepare, train and then make it happen … because you can!

UPDATE from Diana’s blog: After more than 40 hours of swimming and two Portuguese Man-of-War stings, Diana Nyad decided to end her swim today at 11am.

The blog also says, “From the water, she called out to her flotilla of four escort boats and addressed each of them in a strong voice. “The medical team said I should not go another two nights in the water and risk additional likely Man-of-War stings which could have a long term cumulative effect on my body.”

Love this quote from her!

“But for each of us, isn’t life about determining your own finish line? This journey has always been about reaching your own other shore no matter what it is, and that dream continues.”

The Fitbloggin’ conference was the beginning of many wonderful things for me … one of them being meeting Karen Anderson. The wine and cheese party her roommate and she threw in their hotel room the last evening was so popular people spilled out into the hallway. Which tells you a lot about Karen already … she likes people. Which actually tells you that she likes herself  because you can’t like others unless you like yourself first. Which means her journey of self-acceptance through her book and her blogging is working.

Karen’s book AFTER The Before & After: A Real-Life Story of Weight Loss, Weight Gain and Weightlessness Through Total Acceptance was released in February. It tells Karen’s story of struggling with self-acceptance … After having been obese for most of her adult life and thinking she’d magically lose weight “some day,” Karen finally got it together and lost 55 pounds in 2005. As a “weight loss success story” with her picture on the cover of a weekly women’s magazine, she thought she had finally “gotten it” and would live happily ever after. And then, like the vast majority of people who lose a significant amount of weight, she regained half of it. And that’s where this story begins.

I love Karen’s book … though I tend to always have a few pounds I want to lose, I’ve never been obese, but I love AFTER The Before & After because it’s not a typical weigh-loss book. What I connected with was Karen’s ongoing journey of self-acceptance. She is willing to ask herself tough questions about the way she does or does not treat herself. She learns, stumbles, forgives and tries again. She accepts what is while seeking to move forward.

Karen’s writing is comfortable and easy to read … it’s like sitting down and having a conversation with her. I read all of AFTER The Before & After right away and now I find myself picking up the book from time to time, especially on days I want to beat myself up for something.

Below is an email interview Karen and I did … enjoy!

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Janet: I love this tagline about your book… Because self-acceptance is more powerful than any diet I’ve ever been on. We’d all like a quick solution or formula to obtaining self-acceptance whether it is concerning food or other areas, but as you so beautifully show us in After (the Before and After), it is more of a slow, steady process. What are one or two beginning steps you’ve discovered that people can use to help move themselves towards self-acceptance?

Karen: First there has to be awareness of the lack of self-acceptance. We might know that something is not right in our lives, but we don’t understand that at the basis of this feeling is a lack of self-acceptance.

I didn’t realize just how deep and intense my self-loathing was until a therapist asked me to say, out loud, “Even though I am overweight, I still love and accept myself.” I couldn’t say it! I didn’t believe it.

Once you’re aware, it helps to know why self-acceptance is important. It’s not just a woo-woo touchy-feeling concept. When you don’t accept yourself, it causes both emotional and physiological stress, which can cause all kinds of other issues (including weight gain!).

And finally, it really does help to just take a deep breath, unscrunch your shoulders, soften your eyes, and say to yourself, “I am okay. I am not broken. I am a whole person. I may not have a perfect body or perfect habits, but who I am is whole, complete, and good.”

Janet: You write that in your family the “Women were to be seen, not heard.” I found that interesting because the women were treated the same way in my family. I come from a very religious background, so I thought it was religious-based, but you don’t come from a religious background … so what’s up with everyone thinking women shouldn’t have a voice? Have you been able to move on from that mindset to have a different view of yourself and of other women?

Karen: My family was not religious in the way that yours was. That said, I think that this message was more a sign of the times (for my mother’s and grandmother’s generations) than it was a religious message. And I think it had more to do with the idea that appearance is more important than feelings/thoughts.

That said, the idea of women being seen and not heard was part of a mixed message in my (extended) family. On the one hand, my grandfather’s sisters were all accomplished professionals, but in other parts of the family, women were expected to play traditional roles. I was encouraged to get good grades and go to college, but I was also taught that good girls don’t rock the boat or show off…and that having a voice was important, as long as I didn’t disagree or have my own opinion. 

Janet: Now that your book is out … is there anything else you wish you would have said in it?

Karen: The book has only been out for about six months and in that amount of time I have gotten more clarity on many of the concepts in it. That makes me wonder if I should have waited. But at the same time, I can keep writing, right? Having a blog allows me to explore some of those concepts more deeply and allows my readers the opportunity to read about them if they wish.

As well, even though the book represents about 18 months in my life, I think providing more background and family history may have helped me tell my story more completely. But to be honest, I wasn’t sure enough of myself to do that.

Janet: And are you working on any new projects, books or otherwise, now?

Karen: I have several things going on:

I continue to write my blog (because the journey never ends!) and am considering a journal/workbook based on the key lessons I’ve learned.

I’m speaking and doing workshops, which I love. Engaging with others is the best!

And I have gone back to school. I am taking an online class called The Psychology of Eating. The course provides a new and unique way to address weight issues, body image, overeating, compulsive eating, chronic dieting, digestive challenges, mood concerns, energy and fatigue, immunity, nutritional confusion, unwanted eating habits, and nutrition-linked health complaints. On a deeper level, the course is about helping people discover that personal power equals metabolic power.

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Karen is a Author. Blogger. Speaker. Creator of ah-ha moments. Lover of what is.

She blogs about the literal ups and downs after achieving “weight loss success.” Her book – AFTER (the before & after): a real life story of weight loss, weight gain, and weightlessness through total acceptance takes the blog to the next level. It is the result of Karen’s belief that having a healthy body (mind and spirit) shouldn’t be a life-long struggle.

Prior to becoming a freelancer, Karen spent 17 years trying to fit her right-brained self into a left-brained career as a trade magazine journalist in the field of plastics. She worked mostly in New York City, which helped make up for the trauma. She lives in New London, CT, with her husband, Tim who is most definitely a left-brainer. She sincerely appreciates that in him.

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Thank you Karen for ‘chatting’ with me today!

Readers … if you ever say unkind things to yourself, call yourself names, beat yourself up rather then kindly dealing with your own issues or even heap blame on yourself for issues others have … pick up a copy of AFTER The Before & After: A Real-Life Story of Weight Loss, Weight Gain and Weightlessness Through Total Acceptance
… you’ll be glad you did!

If you have any questions for Karen (or I) … feel free to leave a comment, we’ll be here to answer them. 

My five year journey of writing, editing, crying, editing, cursing, writing, deleting, editing, condensing, taking away and adding back in  … is complete with a stack of boxes in my living room.

Actually what truly completes it … is if each of these books finds their way into the hands of someone that needs to know that even the toughest physical, emotional and/or spiritual issues can be overcome …

Because you can!

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BECAUSE I CAN

Doing what I can, with what I have, where I am.

Published by Rhizome Publishing

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Thank you to each of you that have ordered already. I’ve been blown away with all the Kindle/Nook orders – thank you! For those of you that early ordered a paperback, they will be shipped today. Thanks again one and all!!

Early order discount will end on Friday, September 30th …

order here.