Do You View Strangers as Good or Bad?

I grew up in a traditional Mennonite world where almost everything — school, social events and most of the jobs — stayed within that community. But my family had a business where we interacted with ‘english’*  people, so I met many good people outside my sheltered world.

But even with that window, I grew up cautious of ‘others’ and not trusting strangers. Obviously, the first criterial for approval was Mennonite … followed by Christian, white, American and so on. This was taught consciously and subconsciously through both words and actions. ‘Others’ were usually considered bad until they proved there was something good about them.

After leaving that world, I was in the conservative evangelical  world. There is more openness towards others there, but there is a strong teaching that people aren’t good. Too often everyone is regarded cautiously. If someone has a similar faith/religion, the caution is dropped a few degrees, but in general all people are suspect of being bad because they feel no one is good, everyone is deceitful.**

With my optimistic extrovert personality, I have always liked people … whether they are of my world or not. So there’s often been a conflict between who I am and who I was taught to be.

Over the years as I’ve tried to be true to myself … I’ve often revisited and torn down the shields I put up between myself and others. I’m not gullible, but in general I trust people. I view everyone as good … unless proven otherwise.

I have been torn by the advice that many of us give to children, “Don’t talk to strangers.” I said it to my boys when they were young, but as they grew up, I quit saying it and transitioned to teaching them to view strangers as friends they haven’t met yet.

So I found this post MOST PEOPLE ARE GOOD by Chris Guillebeau interesting. He shares two stories of parents who are raising their kids with an open mind towards strangers rather than a fearful one.

In the post, Chris says,

“There may be some comfort in closing yourself off and being afraid, failing to trust until someone proves themselves trustworthy. Perhaps it’s the safer choice. But when you choose to believe that people are good by default, you might find that most of them actually are.”

The comments section also continues many great stories about viewing others as good.

While I know “Don’t trust strangers” is given with good motives, maybe teaching our children (and ourselves) to view others as potentially bad isn’t the best idea. Isn’t that a sure way to cause unnecessary barriers between individuals, groups of people and even nations?

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Your thoughts?

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* term given to anyone that wasn’t Mennonite or Amish

**based on a few Bible verses