A post for Trust 30 … the 30-day writing challenge I’m participating in.

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Today’s Prompt:

You Know

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Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Absolve you to yourself, and you shall have the suffrage of the world. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We live in a society of advice columns, experts and make-over shows. Without even knowing it, you can begin to believe someone knows better than you how to live your life. Someone might know a particular something better – like how to bake a three-layer molten coconut chocolate cake or how to build a website – but nobody else on the planet knows how to live your life better than you. (Although one or two people may think they do.) For today, trying asking yourself often, especially before you make a choice, “What do I know about this?” (Author: Jen Louden)

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My Response:

John Kerry might have won the nickname flip-flop during his presidential run in 2004, but my personal flip-flopping record would probably challenge his.  It’s always been too easy for me to change opinions depending on the circumstances, the person I’m talking to or something I read. In years past, my mind has done some amazing flip-flops … some within an hour or two.

photo © 2008 Katy Warner | more info (via: Wylio)

For a time post-accident, the flip-flopping intensified. (my poor family and friends) I felt so vulnerable that I didn’t trust myself, so I was always looking to others for what to do, think or be.

I’d read about a political plan or idea and immediately adopt a certain position on it — until I read an opposing view and then I’d flip-flop.

I believed everything I read about healthy eating or working out … until I read a view that challenged it.

If I was the church planting type, I would have started about five different churches in the span of a few years, as I struggled through a personal faith crisis.

I felt a certain way about current events and topics … until I heard someone else, especially an ‘expert’ give a different view, then I doubted my own view.

Flip-flop living based on others is confusing, exhausting and circular!

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With time, I didn’t like me … because I didn’t know who I was. I wondered if it would be best to quit searching, learning and live in a cocoon the rest of my life without having any viewpoints.

But I could not do that. I paused and took steps to get to know me.

I asked why about everything I believed, thought or said.

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Because of the trauma and life’s circumstances, I was not the same person I was before … so while I needed to know me, it would not be the same me it was before. I leaned back on what I’d learned and experienced before, while giving myself permission to allow renewal to happen.

With time, I’ve relaxed and I enjoy the journey of learning in every area of life (except vampires and NASCAR). I try not to jump to embracing one view or another, but instead look for ways to understand opposing viewpoints.

Wrestling with opposing viewpoints provides space for growth to happen.

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As I’ve learned to know myself, I developed some solid viewpoints, but in many areas, I get energy from wrestling with opposing ideas without having to take a strong stance one way or another. That is something I didn’t realize about myself when I was busy flip-flopping.

You have a brain – use it!

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Learn, study, be aware and trust yourself. You can borrow flip-flops for your feet from friends and family … but not for your mind.

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Are you a flip-flopper? Are you more susceptible to flip-flopping in some areas of your life than others?

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