Monthly Archives: April 2011

Thankful Thursday – Post 23

I am so thankful that Pennsylvania is having some spring weather this week!

A meadow of spring flowers near my house

From time to time, I share my story at adult retirement homes and recently I decided I want to take something from them. (don’t panic, I’m not stealing purses or phones from innocent elderly folks) I want some of the wisdom they’ve collected over the years. I generally end my sharing time with a question and answer time. Now when they finish asking me questions … I ask them a question.

I want to hear any advice they have on how to live life well. Last week I shared my story with a great group at Landis Homes and one of the women (so annoyed, I forgot to ask her name) gave this advice … “Keep a journal with all the good things of life, so on bad days you can look back on all you have to be thankful for.”

From time to time, I debated whether or not I want to continue doing a weekly Thankful Thursday … but hearing her advice changed my mind. Being intentional about being thankful is a good thing.

Along with our warm weather, I am thankful for:

…. Decreased pain (neck/shoulder pain that I’ve had is almost gone)
…. A few good workouts this week … run, bike, walk and yoga.
…. Dinner with great friends over the weekend.
…. A great Easter with my college son
…. Progress on my book proposal
…. No tornadoes (thoughts and prayers are with all who have experienced them)
…. A nice slow walk around my neighborhood (hence the pictures)
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Close-up of the flowers

Your turn — what are you thankful for?

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No Book Review, No Politics and No Clothes

No book review this Wednesday … I’m thinking for my next review I need to find a book that the majority likes and I agree with, so I can write a positive, agreeable review for a change. Then again, why go with the flow — only dead fish do that.

Instead I’m going to go with a safe, agreeable subject today … politics. Just kidding. Well kinda. I do wonder if The Donald has any chance of being president …

Empty hangersphoto © 2008 Lisa Clarke | more info (via: Wylio)

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Back on track (crazy ADD) to what’s on my mind today. Living with less. I’ve never been a huge I-need-more-stuff person, but clutter still accumulated. Over the past few years, I realized how much less I need to live with (almost dying will do that to a person) and I’ve become more intentional about what I buy. I try not to buy things impulsively. It’s amazing how thinking over a purchase for a few days often takes away the ‘need’ to have it.

Around my birthday last October, I decided I would not buy any clothes this year … expect maybe some for running and biking. Since I’m doing more of both of those … I knew I might need a few additional pieces.  But I limited it to must-haves, not just because I found a great piece that I want.

Six months into this commitment … I’ve never had to go without clothes, imagine that. My closet is too big and too full for that to happen.

Yes, I’ve worn the same clothes more often.

And I’ve put together some cool ‘new’ outfits from the clothes I had … that I now love.

No, I do not miss clothes shopping.

And I do NOT miss spending money on clothes.

I’ve only told one friend about this … because I wasn’t sure if I could stick to it. Now that I’ve hit the halfway mark and it’s been easy I felt brave enough to write this. (though as soon as I post this, I will probably be hit with a nasty-need-to-buy-clothes bug) It’s been a freeing experience, which was a surprise. I am loving the uncluttered space in my mind … shopping for clothes isn’t an option, I know that I will find something in my closet to wear. I’ve given away some clothes that I realized I never wore anyhow, and I’m liking the extra space in my closet.

Have you ever gone for a certain time without buying clothes? Did you find it restricting  or freeing? And if you and I see each other regularly … have you noticed that I wear the same things over and over again?

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Monday Myths — Does Running Hurt Your Knees?

There are many benefits to running … but there are also many myths about running that stop people from enjoying the benefits of it. One of the biggest myths is that running is bad for your knees.

Stretch it outphoto © 2010 lululemon athletica | more info (via: Wylio)

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The truth of the matter is … studies have shown that knee problems are a human problem … not more common or limited to runners. Some runners have knee issues and some non-runners have knee issues.

An article in Time reports research findings … after tracking 1,000 people, runners and non-runners, for over twenty years, they found that the runners’ knees were no more or less healthy than the nonrunners’ knees. Instead … the findings lend support to the theory that osteoarthritis … is caused mainly by genes and risk factors like obesity (obese men and women are at least four times as likely to become arthritic as their thinner peers)

An article in Runner’s World says that not only doesn’t exercise hurt knees, but it can make them healthier … When you exercise, the cartilage in your hips, knees, and ankles compresses and expands.  This draws in oxygen and flushes out waste products, nourishing and keeping the cartilage healthy. “Without exercise, cartilage cells get weak and sick,” he says.

Both runners and non-runners need to take the same approach to help keep their knees healthy. Pain is our body’s way of talking to us. So if you have knee pain, don’t add to it … instead determine (by reading/medical advice/etc) why you have pain and, if possible, do something to help it. Runners may need to take a break from running … maybe bike for a time until the issue is resolved. Non-runners may need to begin running to keep their knees healthy and/or help lose extra pounds which is one of the biggest stresses on knees.

UPDATE: A day after I posted this, I came across this excellent broadcast on NPR’s Your Health “Put Those Shoes On: Running Won’t Kill Your Knees.”

Do and/or have you believed the myth that running is bad for knees? Are their any other supposed myths about running that you’ve wondered about?

If interested, a few posts about beginning to run …
Pole by Pole
Beginner’s Running Schedule
 
I’ve studied both the myths and truths about running after almost losing my leg and my life in an accident and having my doctors tell me that running was a thing of my past. One step at a time… I returned to running and I feel better now than I ever imagined I would after all the injuries I had. My memoir, Because I Can contains my story of recovery. 
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Sunday Sayings – Why Workout?

I am reading Mile Markers: The 26.2 Most Important Reasons Why Women Run by Kristen Armstrong right now. I like how she describes why she runs to stay fit.

Road-Runnerphoto © 2011 Hartwig HKD | more info (via: Wylio)

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There is an underlying purpose and meaning behind my training, always. It isn’t about the next race or the next workout. It’s about fitness and fortitude for the next test around the corner that I cannot see. Everyone faces challenging experiences, whether we want to acknowledge that inevitability or not — the doctor calls to say he needs to discuss the test results in person, or the police office has news at the front door, or you find a lump in your breast, or you lose your job, or your child is diagnosed with something, or your spouse walks out the door. When my next moment come, I want to be strong and centered enough to handle it with some measure of grace. But perhaps even more importantly, I want to be fast enough to be first on the scene when a loved one needs me, and I want to be fit enough to help carry the load for as long as it takes to reach the other side.Kristen Armstrong

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Makes Sense – If You Don’t Think About It

I’m not advertising for a phone company here … but I can’t stop thinking about a line in this commercial.

Do we ever do this about things in our lives … not think about it, so that we don’t have to deal with the consequence of where our thinking might lead us?

Is there any area in your life … that “makes sense if you don’t think about it?”

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“Heaven is For Real” Review

Though Jerry and I don’t know Todd Burpo and his wife, Sonja, I assume we’d have an instant connection if we met. We have the shared experience of going through a traumatic health experience. Jerry, Todd and Sonja could talk about the helpless feeling of standing by a hospital bed watching a loved one struggle for their life. Together we could marvel at how well bodies can recover from trauma.

And I’d love to talk to them about the recent book, Heaven is for Real which Todd wrote about their son’s ‘heaven’ experience. Amazon describes the book as … the true story of the four-year old son of a pastor who during emergency surgery slips from consciousness and enters heaven. He survives and begins talking about being able to look down … The family didn’t know what to believe but soon the evidence was clear. Colton said he met his miscarried sister, whom no one had told him about, and his great grandfather who died 30 years before Colton was born …  (complete description here)

Recently Michael Hyatt (then-CEO of Thomas Nelson, the book’s publisher) admitted on his blog that he was skeptical about Heaven is for Real before he read it. But after reading it, he liked it and was giving away copies of the book to 150 blog readers who left a compelling comment.

I wrote this comment:

Michael, I wasn’t planning to read the book, because I’m skeptical about it, but maybe I should … and maybe I’ll be won over like you were.
The reason I should read it is because people are asking whether my experience of almost dying matches any of it. After receiving severe injuries in an accident, I spent about 48 hours hovering between life and death. I have some foggy memories that I could wrap in Heaven language, but I don’t feel comfortable doing so. My body was in a traumatic situation and I was heavily medicated … so why would I trust anything I thought/saw/experienced at that time?
While I realize the book brings comfort to the family (and many others) my biggest doubts are with the certainty placed in a 4-year old, especially while in a traumatic situation. (plus, when else do we base major beliefs on what a 4-year old says?)
Also all the experiences I’ve heard he had confirmed what the family already believed. What if he had ‘come back’ with new information that would have challenged what they believe or cost them something, such as: if he had said Jesus really does want them to sell everything and give all to the poor?
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I guess that was a compelling reason, because I won an audio copy … so I listened to it.

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Early in the book there is a scene that happens about a week before Colton’s surgery and alleged heaven visit when the family visits an insect museum. Colton’s older sister received a sticker for holding a tarantula. Colton wanted a sticker, but the spider scared him. Todd and Sonja encouraged him, “Are you sure you don’t want to?” They repeatedly asked him, but he refused. Hours later before they were ready to leave the museum, they asked him again. In the end, Colton held the spider to get a sticker. As good parents do, Todd and Sonja showered Colton with accolades as he received his sticker.

Parents, you totally understand that scene. Preschoolers will do almost anything to please their parents. (As my friend noted, this scene is a “tell” which is a term gamblers use when someone gives something away without realizing it) Throughout the book, there seems to be an intentional effort to make the reader feel that Colton wasn’t pressed for details, but that scene suggests otherwise.  I assume that is what happened with Colton and his ‘heaven’ experience.

Colton seems like he was a curious, energetic toddler with a great imagination … and I’m sad for him. For three weeks after my accident, I was on morphine and had major hallucinations. I would hate to have told my memories to someone and then after pressing me for more details, they’d write a book about them. (and with the hallucinations I had, it would have made a great book!)

Four months after his surgery, Colton mentions angels singing over him while he was in the hospital. This could have been a memory from a story or song … or it could have happened (I have memories of being engulfed in a pure, peaceful white light) Colton’s mention of the angels began a series of conversations (spanning the next few years) where Colton mentions one small detail about Heaven (details that always match up to popular children’s Bible stories or songs) and each time, Todd “marvels, is astounded, doesn’t know what to say, etc.” Then after Todd composes himself, he “ponders what questions to ask, so that he doesn’t lead Colton on.” The repeated attempts to convince the reader that Colton’s conversations were spontaneous and that Todd didn’t ask leading questions adds to my doubts.

Todd claims Colton said that God is “big enough to hold the whole world in his hands.” How could Colton see God if he was that big? If Colton truly saw God and he truly was that big … Colton won’t even have come halfway up God’s big toe, so how could he see that he had the whole world in his hands?

Todd claims Colton saw “the battle of Armageddon” (though Colton was only in ‘heaven’ a few minutes, this is explained by the fact that time doesn’t exist in heaven) Women and children stood back, while men fought monsters with bows, arrows and swords. Considering our wars aren’t fought with weapons like that today, if Armageddon is a literal battle, why would it be fought with them? (by the way, as a young boy, Colton loved having ‘battles’ with his action figures)

There’s a few ‘impossible-to-know-details’ that Todd claims Colton experienced … where Todd was praying while Colton was in surgery and meeting his miscarried sister “which no one had told him about.” Parents … how many of you have had a child overhear a conversation you didn’t realize they did?

I don’t assume to know Todd’s motives in writing the book and I’m not saying they were negative. It seems he’s honestly convinced himself that the experiences were real … probably because it brought major comfort to him and confirmed some doubts he’s had. (along with other personal faith-boosters, Todd writes that Jesus told Colton that he “called his daddy to be a pastor”)

After early sales of the book did well, it seems Thomas Nelson (the publisher) upped the promotion for the book … and it continues to do well. Todd and Colton have done numerous interviews. In the book and in many interviews, Colton mentions that Jesus has “markers” which Todd describes as “the scars from the nails.” In an early interview, Colton also mentioned that Jesus has blue eyes. After that interview aired, a few skeptics pointed out that if Jesus still had his scars, then he still had his earthly body. Jesus was born in the middle-east, where people don’t have blue eyes. In later interviews, Colton describes Jesus’ eyes as amazing, but doesn’t give a color.

The book has confirmed many beliefs people have about heaven. It has brought major comfort and hope to many, especially those that have lost loved ones. Nothing wrong with that, I’m all about comfort and hope.

But isn’t it odd that every experience that Todd claims Colton had lines up exactly with the typical American evangelical interpretation of the Bible? And an overarching theme of the book seems to be to encourage people to simply trust these interpretations and not question them. (I almost expect to see a new bumper sticker The Bible says it, Colton confirmed it … just believe it.) Speaking of the Bible … is it Biblical that anyone will go to Heaven and come back again?

And I can’t help but wonder … how much stock would the Christian community give the experiences of a young child from any other faith that ‘confirms’ a version of their faith?

There’s been a number of reviews on Heaven is For Real … some sing its praises and others don’t. I wrote most of my review about two weeks ago, then recently read this review by pastor/writer Tim Challis.  Some of our thoughts about the book are similar, so I’ll close with a few thoughts borrowed from him.

If you struggle believing what the Bible says, but learn to find security in the testimony of a toddler, well, I feel sorry for you … (read his full review here)
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Tim also says, “Reject this book. Do not read it. Do not believe it. And do not feel guilty doing so.” I say read the book, if you want to. But for heaven’s sake, don’t base your view of heaven on it!

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Have you read the book? If so, what are your thoughts about it?

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Whether you agree or disagree with this review, you might enjoy these posts,
~Educating this little Mennonite Girl
~Today I can run… so I will
~How Does a Religion Begin?       
When Life Sucks … Renewal is Needed

 
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Which Comes First: Purpose or Adventure?

Many bloggers are reposting their most popular posts during the last two weeks of the year. I tend to cheer for the underdog, so I’m going to repost posts that weren’t my most popular, but I think they deserve another chance—this is a repost from this past spring.
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If you are thinking about goals and/or resolutions for the New Year… consider what makes you come fully alive. 

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Our purpose, my purpose, your purpose … there’s been many conversations and teachings about purpose. For the most part, it’s been a good thing. It helped me look beyond myself and my circumstances. I found comfort knowing that this crazy, messy life might have a purpose.

But for a time, I became bogged down in finding my purpose. I was still. I waited. I stalled my life. I looked for a magic formula, a certain event, person or cause that would yell purpose to me.

I started looking at it differently after reading this quote by theologian Howard Thurman …

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs are people who have come alive.”

I’d been going about the process backwards — like going down a one-way street the wrong way. I thought when I find my purpose then I would really come alive and my life would turn into an exciting adventure. Instead I needed to come alive … then a life of purpose and adventure would follow.

My focus shifted from finding my purpose (heavy and somber)
to living life fully alive (energy and fun).

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we run.......we laughphoto © 2009 Hollywata | more info (via: Wylio)

 

To live fully alive, I needed to know what makes me come alive. For that, I needed to know myself. Again I was still. But this time being still was different. Instead of stalling life, I was seeking life.

Be still and listen deeply for the truth that is carried on its winds — information about the past, wisdom about the present, and direction for the future.” – Elizabeth Lesser
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Who was I in the past? The little girl always on the move. So I knew moving was part of being fully alive. Walks, hikes, bike rides and running became part of my days.

Who was I in the present? A women in her forties rediscovering life with a new normal. Books, experiences, letting go and learning new things … all were needed to discover the new me.

Who will I be in the future? Time will tell. But one thing I know is a lot of the future me will be determined by what I do today.

Through this process I’ve learned to live fully alive …
Here.
Now.
Today.
This moment.

By living with intention, I find peace, joy and hope in many ‘ordinary’ moments. And I find a more fulfilling life of adventure then I ever dreamed possible.

From time to time, I allow old habits to creep back in. I get stressed. Insecurities crop up. I again wonder what my purpose is. At moments like that … I need to ask what makes me come alive, and go do it because adventure will happen as I fully embrace each day.

Each of us is unique and what helps us live fully alive is varied. The world needs YOU to be fully alive. Pause, be still, learn and then do it!

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Do you live fully alive, so that your life is an adventure worth living? If not, today is a good day to start …
 
 
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Male Hierarchy – Equal Love or Not?

Though (or maybe because) I was raised in a strict male hierarchy world, I had never been comfortable with inequality between genders. My thoughts on this issue were solidified more during the emotional and spiritual hurricane following my physical trauma. I dealt with so much pain – body, mind and spirit – that pain traumatizes me, so I look at anything that causes someone pain (any kind of pain) differently.    Inequality between genders creates pain … so I cannot agree with it.

Recently, I expressed some of my thoughts about the equality of men and women in a few posts. Equal does not mean the same … men and women are equal, but different (I never stand to use the bathroom)

Last week I read and reviewed Half The Church: Recapturing God’s Global Vision for Women by Carolyn Custis James which addresses the inequality between men and women, especially in church settings.  While I have no desire to be in a leadership position in a church … this book has highlighted some of the issues I’ve questioned.

men and women equalphoto © 2008 The Trucking Tourist | more info (via: Wylio)

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Imagine with me … what if one day you and I are able to rescue a girl from a brothel where she’s been held captive for ten years. Being beaten and raped by men daily. We pour love and care on her. We provide physical and emotional experts to help her. With time, healing begins and she realizes there is hope. She wants to know what propelled us to save her. We tell her that we care about others. We love others because everyone matters. We tell her about God’s love for everyone.

She’s interested and wants to know more. She wants to meet with other people that love God. She begins attending a church. As healing for her past happens, she wants to help others. She sees the role of  a pastor as the place to best do that.

Then we have to tell her … oops, while God loves you just as much as he loves men, you are not equal to men in church*. There’s certain things you can do and certain things you can’t do … though men can have any position they want.

While amazing healing has happened in her life and she knows not all men are abusers … how would she feel knowing that many churches embrace a male hierarchy?

Along with the imbalance in leadership in church settings, how would she feel if she learned this same hierarchy exists in many home situations … and has caused untold levels of abuse for wives and daughters?

I can’t even begin to imagine how confusing all that would be for her. Though I couldn’t because then I’d be controlling her, I’d want to shield her from it all. I’d want to only give her contact with church communities and people that embrace full equality. How else could I honestly tell her God loves everyone equally?

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The information in Half The Church about how the Bible supports equality for men and women is foreign to some and/or viewed as unBiblical by others. If you fall in either one of those camps, I encourage you to read Half The Church. For a view on how a balanced marriage could work, read this post …  Humility Without Hierarchy: How Submission Works for Us by Rachel Held Evans.

Good news! I have a copy of Half The Church to give away. Leave a comment on this post or on my review post of it (before Monday, April 18th at midnight) for a chance to win a copy.

*I know this isn’t true in all churches, but it’s true in many of them.
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Sunday Sayings – I Run Because …

Recently I treated myself to two new T-shirts … both have running sayings on them. The first one I wear in memory of my sister Rosene.

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The second one caught my eye for all the different reasons it lists.

I RUN BECAUSE …

I love not just the finish line, but the trip along the way – it makes me feel free – I’ve got energy to burn – I need energy – it’s my anti-depressant – I hope my children will – I need an excuse to eat – stopping would hurt so much more than a blister or a broken toenail – walking takes too long and I have things I need to get done – my personal best is just that: mine – others can’t – it’a a good kind of sore – it makes the pavement feel needed – there are a lot worse addictions out there – there’s no better way to explore a city or enjoy the spring flowers and fall leaves – I “just felt like runnin” – there’s no drug like adrenaline – I’ll never know how far I can go unless I try – the pavement doesn’t complain when you pound it – it takes all I’ve got, but gives back more – I can.

-Mall4MyLife.com

 

What/who motivates you to reach beyond yourself … whether that be in a workout, real life or something else?

These because I can messages mean a lot to me, because I was a runner for 10 years before almost losing my leg and my life in an accident and having my doctors tell me that running was a thing of my past. One step at a time… I returned to running. My memoir, Because I Can contains my story of recovery.

 

 

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Radio Interview with The Growing Bolder Radio Show

I love the way the online world can work. A comment I left on the fabulous, fit Katy Widrick’s healthy living blog led to me being interviewed by the Growing Bolder Radio Show. (Thanks Katy!)

It's Not About Age ... It's About Attitude!

Everyone complains about all the bad news in the media. The folks at the Growing Bolder are doing something to change that. On their TV show and Radio show, they share stories of inspiration and hope … especially ones that challenge the stereotypes of aging.

The program is hosted by Emmy Award-winning journalists Marc Middleton and Bill Shafer. They were a joy to do an interview with. Thanks guys! (it was my first radio interview, so I was nervous)

Janet Oberholtzer

Find more inspiring video, audio, and images at Growing Bolder.
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I have a favor to ask,  you can listen to my interview above … but I’d appreciate if you CLICK HERE and listen to it on the Growing Bolder site. More views on their site could generate more views (you know, the snowball effect) And if you are so inclined, you could even rate my interview there by clicking on the yellow stars. (click the one on the far right ;)

Thanks! I appreciate it.

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