Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps

It’s Silly Saturday. As a kid, I often said this ditty, so I taught it to my boys. They all three learned it at an early age and can still say it today. Over the years, if they tried to excuse bad schoolwork by saying they can’t memorize things … I’d remind them that they memorized this well.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Hobos and tramps,

Cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,

I come here before you

To stand behind you.

To tell you something

Which I know nothing about.

On Tuesday,

Which is Good Friday,

There will be a Father’s Day meeting

For Mother’s only.

Admission is free,

Pay at the door.

Pull up a chair

And sit on the floor.

Our guest speaker will be Mr. Cucumber

Who sailed down the Miss Sloppy River

With the Declaration of Independence in his right hand

And the Star Spanked Banana in his left.

I wrote this from my memory and I think my cousins taught it to me … so in my mind they are the authors. Google brings up many versions of it with a lot of potential sources, ranging from 1960 to 1480, so who knows.

Have you heard this? Do you have any poems/verses from childhood that you can still recite?

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