Surgery Procedure

Hi, my name is Janet and I’ve had many surgeries.

These are not surgeries I chose to have … It is what it is.

Since I’ve had so many surgeries, both as a patient in a hospital and as an out-patient, I figured I should share the routine with the world. (this is for outpatient surgery, if a patient at a hospital, you can omit steps #1 to #6)

Hopefully you will never need to follow it.

  1. Go to the hospital.
  2. Find the outpatient surgical unit.
  3. Find your free-parking-day-pass in the middle of the zillion papers they gave you pre-op.
  4. Enter the building. Find a desk.
  5. Give your name and birthdate.
  6. Checkin at Admissions.
  7. Give your name and birthdate.
  8. Sign a bazillion papers.
  9. Go to the surgery waiting room.
  10. Give your name and birthdate.
  11. Take a seat and wait.
  12. Wait.
  13. Watch a morning show you could care less about.
  14. Wait.
  15. It’s a miracle — your name is called.
  16. Go into the examining room.
  17. Give your name and birthdate.
  18. Strip and put on an adorable gown.
  19. Lie on a gurney.
  20. Give your name and birthdate.
  21. Ask for another blanket, apparently the-powers-that-be like to feel as if they live at the North Pole.
  22. Be wheeled to the holding area.
  23. Give your name and birthdate.
  24. Answer some questions.
  25. Be prepped for surgery.
  26. Wait.
  27. Wait.
  28. Think of ways to escape.
  29. Wait.
  30. It’s another miracle – your name is called again.
  31. Be wheeled into the operating room.
  32. Give your name and birthdate.
  33. Smile as the black mask (that takes you to n0-pain land) is lower on your face.

Have you had surgery? What did I miss in this all-too-fun-routine?

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  • Deb P.

    Interesting to hear from your perspective! My son has a rod in his back and we have to go back for surgeries every six months. I’m always surprised at how many different people come in and ask the SAME questions!

  • Emelie, Sweden

    I had plenty surgery by now. But I think it is a whole lot different here in Sweden.
    Here you go to the department for you desase/surgery. It can be Surgery A or B, Medical A or B, or the Oncologist. There you get a room and a bed and checked out by nurses and strolled down from there to surgery room.

    If you are a day-surgery patient you already have a time appointed and can just give you name and ID to the surgery admission, and then into a bed with nice blue gown. Meet the person sedating you and give name and ID, and also fill in a form about allergies and current medications. In to OR and say hello to the team (4-8) and have a nice sleep :-)