A Vaccine Against Conflict
Between what I observed growing up and my personality, (I want everyone to be happy!) I used to avoid conflict at all costs. Whether with loved ones or causal acquaintances, I would change the subject or brush over things or get silent.
That can work with acquaintances — of course, it doesn’t work well in marriage or with close friends/family. Counselors and mentors taught me that addressing situations even if it’s uncomfortable, awkward or hard is worth it in the end.
It’s always easy to fall back on the default we were first programed with, so when I read this quote recently, I was again reminded of the value of promptly addressing issues.
So hello Janet! If there’s pain either way, why not deal with issues before the pain becomes bigger?
I also realized that dealing with conflicts before they become bigger goes along with my desire to live with a less is more goal. Having unresolved conflicts clutters my mind and adds baggage to my days.
Have you done this … spent hours having conversations in your head with others trying to resolve issues? When those convos happen in my mind, I always say the right things and the other person may or may not depends on the words I put in their mouth.
So why don’t I just have a conversation with them, instead of wasting all that energy having imaginary conversations in my head? Plus who knows where too many imaginary conversations might lead.
As I look at the relationships close to me and determine if there’s unresolved conflicts that should be dealt with, I want to remember that just as real vaccines are best given gently with kindness … so are vaccines against conflict.
What about you … any relationships in your world that need a vaccine to prevent bigger issues later?
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