Monthly Archives: August 2010

I said words I knew I shouldn’t have … to a person that I love.

As the words came out of my mouth, I knew they would hit and hurt their target. A portion of me was appalled at what I was doing, but (sad to say) another portion of me was happy about it. I heard the words, knowing the pain they’d cause — but I didn’t stop them.

I said what I was told someone else said. (Why do I think that whisper-down-the-lane ever gets anything right?) I said it, all of it, while not being sure I even believed some of what I was saying.

I saw the pain I caused — yet I didn’t stop. I repeated some of it twice to make sure they heard.

What am I — two years old? Why would I intentionally hurt someone near to me?

As I thought about why I would hurt someone else, I wondered if it could be because before I hurt them, I had been hurting myself.

You see, I didn’t really like myself that day. I had been spending too much time beating myself up because I thought that I wasn’t measuring up to a imaginary yardstick I had constructed in my brain, which caused my insecurities to raise their ugly head.

We are to love others as we love ourselves. As I thought of it, that is exactly what I had been doing. If I don’t say nice things to myself — why would I say nice things to others? If I don’t love myself — what makes me think I will love others?

Those unkind words had their start with unkind thoughts towards myself. By focusing on love for me and others, I was able to change my words to spread hope instead of hurt.

Do you find that you treat others as you treat yourself?

Elizabeth Esther hosts a blog party once a month called The Saturday Evening Blog Post. Bloggers select one post from the pervious month and link it to her post. So if you want a great selection of posts to read … visit The Saturday Evening Post.

I linked my post Being Alone to her site, because I love the video I included in it.

Blogger’s Digest is my version of Reader’s Digest. A collection of good articles and stories published elsewhere.

• Nine Things God Never Said

This is a great way to look at some familiar Bible verses by Mason at New Ways Forward.

• Let’s Make Peace

When someone wants to pick a fight with you, what do you say? Rachel Held Evans thinks about making peace.

• Three Arguments That Sound Spiritual But Are Actually Stupid

Have you ever argued stupid arguments? Perry Noble thinks we have.

• Commenting on Anne Rice
• Reacting to Anne Rice

There’s been a plethora of posts about Anne Rice’s announcements about quitting Christianity — here’s one from Donald Miller and Jon Acuff

• The Parable of the Flying Naked Baby

Laughter is good medicine and Jamie The Very Worst Missionary will have you doing that with this post.

Add to the Bloggers digest – what posts have you read that have made you think , laugh or cry?

I love people. I get energy from people. I rarely say no to a party.

But I also like to be alone. I always have.

As a teen. I enjoyed shopping with girlfriends, but I also liked shopping alone. Then as a young mom with toddlers, playdates with other moms and kids were good, but I often took my kids to the park alone. (I know, that’s not technically alone, but since there was no adult conversation, it was kind of like being alone)

I like walking/running/biking/kayaking with friends, but I also love only hearing my breathing.

Being alone, alone can give me time to…

breathe deep
meditate
be still
hear myself think
reflect
process life

And being alone with strangers gives me time to…

And that’s why I like this video I saw on Flowerdust today.

So even though I love people. I get energy from people. I rarely say no to a party – I am more centered if I also plan some alone time.

Stop worrying if you don’t have a spouse/friend/etc to go with you … spend some time alone today and you might be surprised at what you discover about yourself and/or about others.

I can be strong-willed. Over the years, this has benefited me. It’s helped me being a mom of three boys. Being a business owner. Running a marathon. Most importantly, it helped me recover and run again after receiving massive injuries.

But if I don’t keep my strong will in check, it can become a weakness. I want to push until I get what I want. I don’t like giving up. (my family is nodding in agreement)

Any strength can become
a weakness if taken too far.

On Sunday, my strong will pushed too far and too long. I was doing a 10K (6 miles). My left foot ached as the run began. By mile 4, the pain increased. I normally do intervals of 8 minutes running and 2 minutes walking. During a walking break, I stretched it. The next walking break, I walked for 5 minutes to give it time to feel better. Nothing worked — it got worse with every step.

The thought of quitting crossed my mind, but I dismissed it quickly. I can’t drop out of a race! I channeled Lance Armstrong’s famous quote…

Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever.

I finished — about 10 minutes later than I planned, but I finished. Forcing myself to finish was not a good idea. I am and will be paying for my strong will for a while.

Within 30 minutes of finishing the race, my foot swelled and the pain was so pronounced, I could not walk on it (trust me, I tried).

From my previous accident injuries, I have a well-stocked medical closet, so my old crutches and plastic cast-type boot are back in service now. And I have plenty of time to sit and think about how to apply a measure of balance to my strong will.

And as I’ve sat and thought, so far I’ve realized I still like Armstrong’s quote, for about 90% of life. But for the other 10% — sometimes the best thing you can do is quit.

My new corner of the universe, this website, is live.

I haven’t announced it ‘to the world’ yet. I’m waiting until some final tweaking takes place, then I’ll have a grand-opening celebration. But I’ve decided it’s time to bring some activity to this corner of the world now — no more excuses allowed.

I can be queen of pushing off for tomorrow what I can do today. But I ask myself what exactly I am waiting for?

• Amazing writing ability to fall from heaven
• Someone to force me to post regularly
• Magical words to wake me at 3AM … nightly
• The perfect peanut butter/chocolate cupcake
• All the planets to be aligned

I’ve been waiting for JanetOber to be here — in the form of a real-live website and she’s here. The site is great, the design is sharp, thanks to the great folks at Bittersweet Creative Group. (And it will be more functional soon).

There I go – apologizing for what isn’t whether than celebrating what is. That’s an old issue I cling too tightly to. I should know by now that life is best if I focus on “Doing what I can, with what I have, where I am.” (Teddy Roosevelt)

So today - I will begin to live by my late sister Rosene’s motto: “Brighten the Corner Where You Are.”